by Jill Rippy
27 Feb 2015
Don’t pity my foster children. They don’t need it. Oh, yes, there was a time when I pitied them, but that was short lived. I realized in a quick hurry that there is no time for pity here.
Dive into the life of a quality foster parent for even a short bit of time and you will find that we are pretty tough people. Maybe it’s the things we’ve seen or the real world sickness that is in our face every day, but our skin is pretty thick.
I assure you, we didn’t start out that way. Behind all of the seasoned foster parents is a journey. My journey started with an emotional breakdown a few days after my first foster child joined my home. Once reality set in and more of her story started to emerge, I lost faith in humanity for a bit.
There is a darkness that foster parents don’t tend to share with anyone except one another. You see, the only people who truly understand the load we carry are other foster parents. With each new child, the darkness sets in for a week or so once their story starts to unfold. We are reminded with each new story just how wicked and sick our world can be and that’s a huge load to carry sometimes. I find myself irritable, exhausted and short tempered at times because my mind and heart are on overload with my lost faith in humanity.
I still smile, get to know my new child, care for all of my children and carry on, but the inner turmoil is still there.
Not too long after that, the light starts to sprinkle back in and before I know it, I’m breathing again without feeling like someone is sitting on my chest and happiness reappears.
In these days of darkness, I find myself overwhelmingly sad. Once I find my way out of the darkness, my determination and strength return and the battle is on.
I strap on my mom armor and go to battle for this child.
That battle involves :
-numerous dental visits
-IEP case conferences
-extra-curricular sign ups
-DCS Team Meetings
And loving them, which includes:
-feeding them good food
-unlearning of the old
-teaching of the new
-repeating some more
I don’t have time for pity. And neither do they.
Compassion? You bet!
Prayers? Without a doubt.
Take the energy you would use on pity and be a part of the solution. Want to know how? Just ask. I’ll tell you.
But don’t pity my kids. That will get them nowhere.
And don’t pity me. I’ve got this.
Thank a Foster Parent HERE
Thank a DCS Professional HERE
Being a foster mom is one of the biggest blessings of my life. Bio mom of two and foster mom to many, I count myself lucky to be on this foster journey. My mission is to change the lives of children who enter the foster care system and to recruit quality foster parents to join in this life changing work. I consider it a blessing to be a mother, foster mother, teacher, author and inspirer.